I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
