Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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