Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
