Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
two words...techno handjob
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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