whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
