Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
