I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
