so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
