So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize