allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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