so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
