Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
