shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
