Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
