so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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