last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
