Can i not drive my cunt home
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize