stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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