you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
