We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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