I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
