You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
