I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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