is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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