hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i came on her dog
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
