I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
