Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
