Slut skills are useful in every country.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
