you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
