I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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