you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
