We won't sleep together?
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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