When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
