I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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