You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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