just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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