No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
