Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize