Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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