The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
