I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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