problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
vagina is talking i cant
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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