eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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