if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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