Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize