Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
