While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
This is my gift to your gina
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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