i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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