How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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