Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
