Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
