About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Randomize