He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
