do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
