S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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