Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
