He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
