Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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