Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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