why didn't you poke me back
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
