Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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