Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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