i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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