I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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